HotWired
by CueDrumRollPlease
Summary: "She's very talented." "I'm sure she is, Koenma." "The problem is she's extremely misanthropic and unscrupulous." "Not anything I haven't dealt with before." "Kurama, not like this, you haven't." Post-Series.
1. Chapter 1

As this is a Fanfiction site, I obviously own nothing but my original characters.

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><p>"She's very talented."<p>

"I'm sure she is, Koenma."

"The problem is she's extremely misanthropic and unscrupulous."

"Not anything I haven't dealt with before."

"Kurama, not like this, you haven't."

* * *

><p><span>Hotwired<span>

Chapter One:

In which our fair heroine has her unalienable rights trodden upon with the delicacy of a herd of stampeding alpaca.

"That will be eighty four dollars and thirty two cents, if you please." The chipper blond smiled and stretched out her hand to take the platinum credit card.

"No, I don't please." Her eyes widened and her bubble gum pink lips puckered in a shocked 'O'. _This really shouldn't be so easy,_ I thought. _It takes all the fun out of it. The least she could do would be to act a little more convincing._ "I'm not particularly enamored of the ditzy blond routine; it lacks originality. Now, you and I both know that you've equipped your little electronic buddy there," I raised an eyebrow and nodded at the card swipe, "to borrow my credit card information."

Her cheeks flushed in indignation. "I've never heard anything so absurd. I-"

"Now Linda," reading her blue and white nametag, "I really must insist you not interrupt. It doesn't matter how I know what you've done, just suffice it to say that if I were to, I don't know, scream bloody murder and accuse you in a very public manner, you're supervisor, in an attempt to calm me and probably a great many other panicked customers, would more than likely search you and the credit card machine serial number. I would stand here and demand to watch the whole process, and I would find the necessary proof, and I would expose you. Like I said before, you and I both know about your little friend's upgrade, and frankly, I don't see why it shouldn't remain that way." I paused for dramatic effect. "Just you and me, that is." I handed her a twenty and smiled.

Her perfectly plucked eyebrows lifted in understanding. "You're change ma'am," she said, handing me two hundred out of the cash drawer. "And thank you for shopping at Marcy's."

I lifted a hand to my chest and gave her a mocking little bow. "It's been almost entertaining. Good evening, Linda my dear." With that I about faced and began walking for the front entrance. Out of the corner of my eye I caught the two plain clothed officers who had been watching our little transaction from a distance. Five of them had been circling Linda's counter for about three hours, switching teams and keeping their distance until the crowds died down during the pre-Christmas rush.

I had to give a little smile when Linda screeched as a burly cop in a white guayabera forced her arms behind her back and started Mirandizing her. _Poor dear, her pressed pink suite is wrinkling._ I smirked. _I really like smirking. Note to self: smirk as often as possible_. Everybody else who had been leaving turned around to gawk at the blonde trying to bite through the cops arm.

_That's right everyone, make way for me. _The electronic doors swooshed open before I stepped onto the pressure sensor and I made my leisurely way out of the mega shopping complex. It pays to shop at these places because, though they may be disgustingly packed with people, just so many more opportunities present themselves when hundreds of marks, stooges and rubes coalesce in a small area.I hung a left at _Seguin St._ and spotted my apartment complex to the right. Austin, on top of being about ninety degrees and humid eighty-five percent of the year, is also bursting with homeless folk, half of them young failed UT students. Consequently it is nearly impossible to be young and attractive without being beckoned by unsavory types to back allies. As I walked across _Magnolia _to my building, one of the many street residents, apparently with a taste for the supernatural or at least new-age nonsense, waved tarot cards at me while I walked past.

"Know the future," the old hippy said from beneath a purple burka and silver veil. _That takes dedication. She must be melting in that. _"Know the past." I had to smirk a bit. I can appreciate a fellow grifter's dedication but fortune telling had never been a racket that I held much respect for. "Know the present, Lydia Nakamura." _Now that was interesting. Where had she heard that name? I hadn't used that one since Pappy moved us back from Kyoto. _

I turned around and smiled. "I must admit," I said, "I've always been a bit curious about the occult. Why don't you give me a reading?" I sat down in front of her low table and held out my hands to shuffle the deck.

She gave a little giggle that sounded more girlish than crone, leading me to believe her to be much younger than her act belied. She took the tarot cards back and picked one from the center of the deck. I expected the death card or the fool or some such melodramatic mystical tripe, so imagine my surprise when I saw that the card placed before me held a picture of Linda, the thieving Marcy's clerk, with her hands in the air sporting a black and white striped jump suite.

"This is your past," she said with another giggle. She flipped the next card to find a picture of a pair of handcuffs. All of a sudden my hands propelled towards one another like oppositely poled magnets, and struggle as I might, I could not separate them.

"What the hell is going on you crazy-"

"This is your present."

"Don't you dare giggle, you maniacal Professor Trelawney."

She let out another giggle. "You're so silly," she said. _I'm being kidnapped by a demonic Gidgit. I'm going to be tortured to death. They're going to trap me in a white room with the Barney song and Care Bears theme and her giggling playing on repeat until I go insane._

She slowly turned the last card over. "And this is your future."

"What the f- is that?" I deadpanned. On the card was the cartoon picture of a baby in a big hat with a binky in his mouth, floating on a yellow cloud.

"Congratulations," the woman said as she pulled off the burka and veil. Cotton candy blue hair and pink eyes sparkled at me in pure excitement. "You're under arrest."

"WHAT?"

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><p>I found myself hog tied by unseen restraints, thrown over the back of an oar and barreling towards space within seconds.<p>

"I'm Botan, by the way. Oh, this is so exciting. I've never caught psychic with your combination of abilities, you know. You're a rare bird."

_Great Schottky, she's going to eat me._

"Oh, here we are already. How time flies when you're having fun! This way please. Oh yes, your bounds… That's alright, I'll just float you in."

Now, normally I would have been protesting loudly and demanding to know on what charge I had been arrested (not that I had ever been arrested, but it pays to have a contingency plan), but between the physics defying flight and the purple ogres and giant pearly gate that had greeted me upon my first entrance into the Reikai, I was pretty much a gibbering mess. I think that I would have smirked at myself had I been able to see me.

Botan gave me a pitying look, and that somehow induced enough pride in me to at least be able to close my mouth.

"Here we are, dear," Botan said. "Koenma's office. Don't be frightened. You're not in too much trouble; at least I don't think you are. Oh well!" With that we walked (to be precise, I floated) through to a pair of giant wood doors with the intimidation factor of 10 to the power of infinity.

"Koenma! We're back!"

"Very well, Botan." Said a nasally voice from the ceiling. At some point I had flipped and was at the moment floating head down with a view of the bottom of giant wooden desk. _What kind of acid trip is this? Have I had a psychotic break? What were those loin cloth wearing things? One eyed one horned giant purple people eaters? People eaters!_

"Oh! Whoopsies!" Botan grabbed my foot and attempted to right me with a bit too much zeal. I spun around twice before she caught my foot again and finally had me oriented positively along the z-axis. When my vision cleared I saw what I supposed was the same fat baby on the tarot card from earlier. I looked left and right for the nasal voice but saw no one but Botan. I searched the ceiling for concealed speakers but could not find any. Finally I looked back at the baby, which was miraculously sitting upright with an eyebrow raised sucking impatiently on a pacifier.

"You?" I asked.

"Yes," was his simple reply.

"Alright. I guess I buy that." I said with a shrug.

Botan's eyes practically popped out of her head.

"What? It makes about as much sense as the rest of this day," I said in my defense.

"Very sensible," was the fat baby's reply. "Now to business. I am Koenma, and to make things short, I'm in charge." Botan 'hem-hemed'. "Well, mostly I'm in charge. My father is Enma and he, with me under him, is ruler of both the Human and the Spirit World. We are currently in the Spirit World, and no, before you ask, you're not dead."

I felt the tightly bound wad of panic in my chest loosen. "Am I," I began.

"No, you're not mad or hallucinating either."

"Oh, thank God." I said and let out a sigh.

"You are, however, in very big trouble."

"What? Why? What did I do? You haven't any proof! I demand a lawyer!"

"Shut up! I have all the proof I need. I'm one promotion away from god! I see everything including, among other things, your moonlighting as an industrial spy."

At this I prudently shut the hell up.

Koenma climbed on his desk and walked across it to me, allowing him to look down on me. I was not impressed, I might add, by his little attempt at intimidation. "You have been caught stealing industrial secrets from human electronics firms, funds from credit companies, and just two hours ago stealing the ill-gotten gains of an identity thief. While that does not normally fall under my jurisdiction in this cycle of your existence, i.e. while you're still breathing, it does when these are all perpetrated using _**physic powers **_over electricity and electronic devices. As such, it is my duty to judge you and dole out proper punishment. You, Rachel Garner, alias, Lydia Nakamura, alias Yume Lopez, alias Sarah Greggs, etcetera, are sentenced to twenty years as a Reikai Spirit Crimes Investigator."

I guess my blank stare is intimidating because Koenma, Prince of the Afterlife and all things currently residing on Earth, began sweating profusely and fingering his collar nervously.

"Stop glaring at me like that. It's a perfectly legal punishment."

"I'm sure it is," I said flatly. "What I'm beginning to question is the legitimacy of my arrest. I've been in my line of work for nearly ten years (since I was fourteen), so why now have you decided to take me in? Especially, since it is obvious that you have been more than aware of my activities from the beginning. I'd like to speak with a lawyer now, thank you." _Cue smirk_. "I want to know just at what point psychic maleficence falls under your jurisdiction."

"Ahem, too bad. So sad. No Reikai lawyers; sent them all to hell years ago." With that Koenma slammed his fist down on a giant red button on his desk to the left of a Matchbook Air. Three multicolored ogres walked into the room. One turned his attention to Koenma while the other two started toward me.

"Wait! Let go, you Crayola-colored hob goblins!" I screamed as the two ogres caught my floating feet and started pulling out the giant wood doors. I latched onto one of the door frames, wood and paint peeling and chipping under my finger nails. "I demand a lawyer! I'm a US citizen! I have rights!"

"George, please show our newest employee to her quarters. And Botan,"

"Yes, boss," she said, giggling once more. _Evil Gidget!_

"Ring up Kurama will you? I believe Rei-san is going to need some experienced supervision."

_You smug little bastard! Did you see that? He smirked! I swear a saw it under that squeaking ridiculous pacifier! He's going to be sorry he every entrapped Ray Hell-to-Pay Garner. No one pulls a fast one on __**me**__! And no one and I mean no one, _**smirks**_ at _**me**_!_


	2. Chapter 2

As previously stated, I own nothing but my original characters.

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><p>Next Chapter Teaser:<p>

"You kidnapped a child."

"No, kidnapping implies that I'm either holding him for ransom or going to do him some permanent damage for my own twisted reasons. No, I borrowed him for his own good for almost entirely altruistic reasons. I'll return him in almost as good a shape as I found him."

"No, Rei, you kidnapped a child."

"Shut up, Kurama."

* * *

><p><span>Hot-Wired<span>

Chapter 2:

In which our fair heroine learns about the finer points of interdimensional travel, international real-estate, and interoffice relations.

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><p>If there was one thing that two thousand years of life can teach it is patience, but even Kurama's infinite serenity was beginning to wane.<p>

"You're probably wondering why I called you here."

Kurama's face remained impassive. "I imagine it wasn't just to sip tea and chat. I know that you want me to mentor your new Spirit Detective, and I am willing to do so. I do not see why you seem so ill at ease." He took another sip and studied the tea cup in his hand. _A beautiful piece._

"I'm not ill at ease, as you put it. I have every faith in your abilities. You have been more than successful in the past-"

"Then why are you stalling? Introduce her to me." Kurama said, staring squarely into Koenma's eyes. Koenma broke eye contact and repositioned his hat, hemming and hawing.

"She's very talented."

"I'm sure she is, Koenma."

"It's just that she's extremely misanthropic and unscrupulous."

"Not anything I haven't dealt with in the past."

"Kurama, not like this, you haven't."

Kurama lifted his eyebrows and half-smirked. _Does Koenma feel guilty about bringing me out of retirement for this? If I can handle Hiei, Kuwabara, and Yusuke, there is no being in the three worlds beyond my abilities to control. _"Koenma, just bring her in."

"Alright, give me a few moments. George was supposed to keep an eye on her, but she escaped from her rooms and we haven't been able to find her since." Koenma pressed the intercom button. "Botan, have you found her yet?"

Botan's chipper voice emanated from the speaker next the intercom microphone. "Yes, sir! Found her trying to con one of the ogres into letting her 'examine' the portal generators. No worries, sir. I'm floating her in right now."

Koenma's wooden doors flew open and Botan traipsed lightly in, followed by a very irate looking black haired gaijin spinning in three dimensional space in an attempt to reach the floor. As soon as she noticed where and in whose company she was, she calmed immediately.

"Botan," she said in a smooth modulated tone.

"Yes, Rei-kun?"

"I promise not to run. Please put me down."

"Of course!"

Botan snapped her fingers and 'Rei-kun' was unceremoniously dropped to the ground. She gathered herself together and stood up with as much dignity as possible. She turned to Kurama and studied him with the same cool impassive face with which he had watched her humiliating entrance.

_She is impressive looking; I'll give her that. Attractive too, in a Valkyrie or Amazon sort of way. _ She stood more than six feet tall with broad shoulders and hips and a small waist. Long blue black hair fell from a high ponytail at the back of her head and sharp hazel grey eyes bored into him from under long bangs. _If the muscles on her arms and the collapsed baton hanging from her belt are anything to go by, I'd say she could look very well after herself. I may be unnecessary after all._

She turned to Koenma and asked, "Hey, ugly baby, who's the drag queen?"

_Perhaps not._ Kurama gave a respectful bow and smiled pleasantly. "Garner Rachel-san, my name is Kurama or, while in the company of normal humans, Minamino Shuichi. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Rei ignored him entirely; Kurama pretended not to notice.

"Koenma, I told you that I did not need a babysitter. It's bad enough that you ensnared me in this ridiculous attempt at bolstering your under staffed pathetic excuse for a police force. I don't need to be followed around by some pretty airheaded fop, who looks weaker than I am, trying to make me keep my nose clean." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and shivered. "Besides, he gives me the willies."

"I disagree. Firstly, though you may be a powerful psychic in your own right, you have had little experience with other humans with supernatural abilities and no known contact with demons what so ever. Secondly, it's patently obviously that you have no desire to preform your duties to begin with, especially considering the little stunt you pulled earlier." Rei smirked. "Stop smirking, it's aggravating." Rei's smirked blossomed into a full blown grin. "And lastly, although Kurama may appear very, very, uh, refined, he is in fact a very powerful and experienced youkai."

_What exactly does that mean, Koenma?_ Kurama's eyebrows quirked in irritation.

"You will treat him with the respect that the position he holds over you demands."

Rei sighed and turned to Kurama. She gave him a very professional smile and bowed properly. "Kurama-san, it's my very great pleasure to work around you. Do your best."

Koenma pretended he had not heard her. "Rei-kun, I summoned you here for more than meeting your superior. I have your first assignment." He opened his laptop, pressed a few keys and a large monitor on the opposite wall from his desk flickered to life. An aerial view of an impressive school complex with tennis courts, tracks, and swimming pools appeared on the screen.

"There have been a series of suspicious accidents, injuries and deaths at the High school of Technology and Engineering attached to the University of Tokyo Prefecture. At the scene of every one of the incidents there has been found traces of spiritual energy. It was not a sufficient amount to prove the involvement of a psychic or youkai, but it makes me nervous."

Koenma pressed another button and a picture of mousy-looking woman with glasses wearing an oversized red sweater appeared on screen. "This is Kato Hisa. She taught applied mathematics to third years until she attempted suicide three weeks ago. All of the incidents involved students from her class. You will be her replacement."

"No," she said flatly. "I refuse."

Koenma, turning red, shouted, "And why not? You're educated enough in her area of expertise. There is no reason to refuse."

She looked blankly at Kurama and then Koenma. "No," she said with a shrug. "I hate kids, especially teenagers. Their hormones cause bad attitudes and body odor."

"You don't have any choice in the matter, because if you refuse I'll throw you into a little, unlit room without so much as a light bulb, coated in insulating materials, for the next twenty years of your life."

"Che, selfish brat. That's why I hate kids."

Kurama turned to the photo of Kato and then back to Rei. _Those poor children; they have no idea what's coming._

"Kurama, take her with you before I apply for a smiting permit." Koenma handed him a bundle of papers. "This is her new Tokyo address, and here are her other necessary papers. Please help her adjust to her new living conditions, even if she doesn't think she needs it."

A bright swirling vortex opened in the middle of the office. Kurama bowed to Rei, indicating that she should go first. _She's never used one of these before, _he thought while watching her size him up and shuffle her feet.

"Nah, you can go first, really. I don't mind."

"Ladies first. No? Well, if you insist."

* * *

><p><em>I will never do that again. I don't care if I have to force Botan to be my personal flying chauffer, even if she does fly like a drunken Kamikaze.<em> I shivered, recalling my first foray into transdimensional travel and tried to forget my still flip-flopping stomach by studying my surroundings. We were walking through a public park in the middle of Tokyo on the way to my new diggings. I had been trying to surreptitiously size up my companion, carefully taking note of his mannerisms, his speech patterns and his rather distinct cologne, and I had come to a definite conclusion.

I did not like him. He was creepy.

I really was not surprised when Koenma had said he was a powerful youkai. It not only explained the bizarre coloring and frankly unnatural beauty but it also explained the immediate danger I felt the moment I laid eyes on him. He was just the sort of sly two-faced individual that would hand you over to your bitterest enemy if they thought that it would help them in the long run. One of those 'the sacrifice is necessary types,' but you never see _them_ making the sacrifice. _I do not like working for people that think like me._

"Have you come to a conclusion yet?" Kurama asked, startling me out of my thoughts.

"About you?" I asked. "Of course, I don't like you. Don't feel bad. You're not special."

"How disappointing. None the less, you will work with me. I can make things very difficult for you despite what you can do with a computer and an internet connection." He stopped abruptly and turned to face me. "I know what you are capable of, and make no mistake, I respect what you can do, but if you try to hurt me or my family I will kill you and dispose of the body in such a way that there won't be trace enough to make Koenma even nervous. Do I make myself clear?"

"Very."

"Good." He stopped in front of a two story building that looked like it had not had a fresh coat of paint since the fall of the A-track tape. "Welcome home."

"You must be joking," I said. _It looks like the setting for a cheesy Japanese horror film._

"While it may not look like much, it has most of the modern amenities, not excluding electronic locks and keycards. You'll be very secure." I could swear that I saw the seed of a smirk in the corner of his mouth.

"Forget the locks. Do the apartments even have their own bath? I refuse to use a shared floor bath." He adjusted his collar and moved his hand in front of his face.

"You won't have to. There aren't any. Everyone here uses the bath house next door." Of course he neglected to mention that the apartments did have a small shower, but being Japanese I guess that did not count as a real 'bath.'

I was stunned speechless. I think my jaw must have dropped because Kurama's shoulders were shaking and he was 'coughing' into his hands.

_That bastard is laughing at me. Gingers have no souls._

It was even more horrifying when I went inside to find a six tatami mat apartment without even a window unit air conditioner. I felt the blood rush from my face and began to feel a little ill. _Where am I going to keep all my equipment? My workbench, reflow solder station, components chest, six computer towers, and my welder? I'm not going to have room for a futon!_

The fox faced bastard simply smiled 'pleasantly' at my anguish. "Your assignment officially starts tomorrow. I expect a report on your findings by the end of that day. Good evening, Garner-san. Welcome to Tokyo." With that he bowed himself out and left me to my mourning. _I had a three bedroom apartment in Austin, complete with walk-in closet. Maybe there's room for a futon on that little balcony. _

* * *

><p>I walked through the monolithic iron gates of the High school of Technology and Engineering Tokyo Prefecture about ten minutes late for homeroom. Passing the classroom windows, I watched the students texting on their smart phones, playing games against each other on their portable gaming platforms of choice, and doing just about anything but studying. <em>Well, it is homeroom.<em>

_Class 3A, say hello to teacher. _

_Wow, that's bizarre._


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing but my characters and plot.

I'd also like to take a moment to thank Crystal Jaganshi for being my very first reviewer, and littleemija69 for shamelessly complementing my grammar. I'll try to review something of yours very soon as a proper return for the time you took to read and review my story. But, if it does takes a bit, sorry. Midterms are this week and I have some studying to do.

_Tee hee! My grammars phenomenal! *Blushes like mad.*_

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><p>Next Chapter Teaser:<p>

"You'd put them through that again? After everything that Sato, Tanaka and Kimura and the rest have already suffered, you would force them to endure it once more?"

"If it means that whoever is doing this never sees the light of day again, yes."

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><p>Chapter 3:<p>

In which even our heroine learns the true meaning of the word 'bastard.'

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><p>Kimura Hideki, 17, third year high school student, was no James Bond. He could not act or lie himself out of the proverbial paper bag. When Hideki was in the third grade, he watched, with the rest of the class, as Nobu-kun snuck a frog into the teacher's drawer while her back was turned. When she discovered it, she immediately turned her searching gaze on Hideki.<p>

"Kimura-kun, who did this?"

Under the fiery gaze of plump rosy-cheeked Morita-sensei, Hideki melted like a crayon on hot asphalt. "Nobu-kun did it!"

The betrayed Nobu promptly replied, "Snitch!"

Things had not changed much in the years since. Hideki still snapped under pressure like the toothpick he resembled and wore his intentions on his face for the world to see. And right then Hideki's face was saying, "Please don't notice that I am trying to hide something under my desk."

He was nervously sliding in his chair, sweating profusely, while shifting his eyes back and forth to see if anyone was watching him. After he had apparently decided that the coast was clear, he attempted to surreptitiously slip a sleek smart phone out of his front pants pocket. But, unfortunately, as stated before, Kimura Hideki was about as smooth as extra crunchy peanut butter.

From poor Hideki's view point, it seemed like slow motion as the slick metallic finish of his cellphone flew out of his overzealous sweaty fingers. It skittered down the aisle and stopped under the waiting foot of Sato Akiko.

"Kimura-kun, what is this?" she said in an almost nonchalant tone that belied her murderous aura. Hideki swallowed nervously and turned his gaze around the room to take in the venomous glares of his fellow classmates.

"I- I- I-" he stuttered.

"Why would you have brought this to class, hmm?" she asked lightly, one eyebrow arched.

"I had to check it. My mom gets her test results from the doctor's-"

"Ah, trick question! It doesn't matter why you brought it. You broke the rules and-"

"And what rules would those be?" said a voice from right outside the door. A freakishly tall foreign-looking woman dressed in a pressed grey button up blouse and tight fitting black pants tucked into calve high black boots appeared inside the doorway. Sato quirked an eyebrow at the woman's obviously outerwear boots. The woman looked over what appeared to be the class list and student profiles. Looking back to girl towering over Hideki, she asked "Sato Akiko, is it?"

Sato straightened and turned a hard glare at the intruder. "Yes, I'm Sato Akiko. I was just reminding Kimura-san that cell phone use is prohibited while school is in session. It is in the student handbook. Are you the new instructor?"

"Really, you would never have guessed it looking in on the other classrooms," the woman said good-naturedly. "I guess that serious attitude is what makes this class the best, no?" She smiled and tilted her head.

"Electronics like these are distracting to the other students," Akiko said shortly. "Are you the new instructor?" she repeated.

"Oh, forgive me. Yes, I am Garner · Rachel," she said as she wrote her name out on the board. "And I will be your new applied mathematics and homeroom teacher." The students collectively turned to one another, as if to say, "Who's this odd woman going to teach? **Me**? No way."

The side of Rei's mouth twitched in an irritated manner. _I hate kids._

"Anyway," she said. "Since homeroom is about finished, why don't we start the lecture early?" A united sigh lifted as the students brought out their notes and pencils. _Now, little snots, I will have my revenge._

"So, I hope everybody remembers polar notation, because we're going to be integrating some three dimensional ellipsoids today!" she said while pumping her fist in perky manner that was entirely out of character. The resulting groan could be heard all the way in Koenma's office._ What do you know? This high school teacher gigs not bad._

* * *

><p>"Everyone, be careful on the way home tonight and I'll see you all bright and early tomorrow morning," Rei said in her most cheerful Botan impersonation. "Kimura-kun, would you stay after for a moment?"<p>

Hideki swallowed nervously and made his way over to Rei's desk after everyone had left.

"Kimura-kun, are you feeling alright? You've been looking a little ill all day." Rei's eyes were big and filled with sympathy.

Hideki flushed under her intense scrutiny. "I- I- I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" she asked standing up and moving closer to him. "I think you might have a fever. Here let me check." She reached over to touch his cheek.

"Yes," he said. "Really, I'm f- fine!"

"Oh really?" she asked again, touching the back of his neck. All of a sudden Hideki felt a shock like that of a Taser, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fell to the ground.

"I don't know, Hideki-kun," Rei said with a smirk. "You look a little unconscious to me." She reached into her back pocket, pulled out her cellphone, and dialed Kurama.

"Kurama-san, do you know a good place to eat? Really? Excellent, we'll be meeting another guest for dinner. You wouldn't mind picking me up would you? Wonderful. See you soon."

She looked down at slumbering teen. "I hope you like ramen, Hideki."

* * *

><p>Kurama pulled up in a sporty red two-seater. He calmly climbed out of the driver's seat to greet me, but instead of the customary hello, he stared in stunned silence. <em>Yes, Kurama, I know I'm glorious but I'm also cold without my jacket.<em> I had a lovely black duster that I wore whenever the weather went below fifty degrees Fahrenheit but, unfortunately, at that moment it was wrapped around Hideki's unconscious body and thrown over my shoulder.

"Please don't tell me you killed someone, because I will not help you dispose of the body," he said. I swear there was that little seed of a smirk in the corner of his mouth again.

I turned a little red in exasperation. "I'm a lot of things, Kurama, but a murderer is not one of them. No, say hello to our dinner guest, Kimura-kun. I found him this morning about to have his ass handed to him by some nerdy girl for supposedly 'defying the student handbook'. Me thinks he knows something pertaining to Koenma's nerves-inducing incidents."

"You kidnapped a child."

"No, kidnapping implies that I'm either holding him for ransom or going to do him some permanent damage for my own twisted reasons. No, I borrowed him for his own good for almost entirely altruistic reasons. I'll return him in almost as good a shape as I found him."

"No, Rei-kun, you kidnapped a child."

"Shut up, Kurama. Open the trunk," I said.

He turned to me, fighting a smile. "You are going to transport him in the trunk; you're a kidnapper."

"It's your fault. You're the one who bought this ridiculous two-seater gay-magnet in the first place." _Marco would love this car; he'd love Kurama too. _I smirked._ "_But, seriously, what self-respecting straight male would drive this?_"_

Kurama gave me a hard stare. "Ugh, just drive," I said. "And don't be so sensitive."

* * *

><p>Kurama pulled into the parking lot of <em>Urameshi Family Ramen House<em>. It was still early for dinner, so there were only two or three other cars parked (all of which were manlier than Kurama's.) He popped the trunk and waited for me to lift Kimura out. _What a gentleman._ I slung the kid over my shoulder and we walked through the front door. I might have knocked my students head against the door frame on the way in. _Whoops._

The door jingled a little tune when we opened it and a greasy-looking chef came out of the kitchen to greet us. I did not need to look at him to know he was a youkai. He gave me the same jitters that Kurama did. His aura made me want to turn right around and leave, but then he had to ruin it with the goofiest grin I have ever seen on a humanoid male.

"Kurama! Man, I haven't seen you in forever!" He ambled up to Kurama and smacked in on the back genially. "Hey, who's the Wonder Woman look alike?" He asked, pointing a thumb at me. "New squeeze?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"He wishes." I murmured under my breath.

"Not really," he replied. _Freaky youkai hearing._ "This is Garner Rachel-san."

"Just call me Rei. Everyone else on this blasted island does."

"Rei-san, this is Yusuke Urameshi. He held a position similar to your own a few years ago," Kurama continued.

"Well, there's a free corner booth if you want to put down your sleeping friend. I'll get you some menus while you make yourselves comfortable," Yusuke said.

I slapped Kimura down on the booth seat. Kurama slid in on the opposite side and I sat next to him. Kimura groaned and began to sit up.

He blinked, winced, and grabbed his head. "Where am I? What happened?" I schooled my face into one of concern.

"Oh, Kimura-kun," I said. "I was just so worried when you passed out in front of my desk! I brought you to the nurse and my goodness you were heavy. But he said you were fine, that it was probably low blood sugar, and that you would wake up hungry soon. I didn't know what to do, so I called my friend and brought you here. I think I must have panicked a little. I realize now that I should have just called your mother." I drooped in my chair. "I'm so sorry." I thought about the time I accidently discharged static electricity into my favorite computer and squeezed out a few tears. "It's just so hard to be foreign and a new teacher at the same time!"

Kimura blinked again. "No, no that's fine. I'll just order something."

I squeezed out a few more tears. "Kimura-kun, you're such a good kid!"

"No, no, please don't be upset. Wait, where are my outside shoes? I'm still wearing my slippers."

_I forgot about that. I wore my boots in class all day. Oh well, my pants wouldn't have look half so good without my calve boots. _I pretended not to have heard him. "Kimura-kun, it's been bothering me all day. What happened between you and Sato-kun?" I gave him my best, "I need to know this for your own good" stare.

"N- n- nothing happened," he stuttered out. "It was just a misunderstanding."

"Wow, Sato-kun seems to take school policy very seriously. Don't you think it's a little strange?"

"No, we're all competing very hard for the same scholarship to Tokyo Prefecture. It was wrong of me to bring in something that could distract other students." I looked at him. He began to shift in his seat and finger his collar. I looked harder.

"Kimura-kun," I said in my most disappointed tone. "You're lying to me. Don't you trust me?" I began to sniffle. _Damn, this is hard._

I could see Kurama from the corner of my eye. The bastard was looking at me like I had grown a third eye. _Yeah, I amaze myself sometimes. _"You think I'm a bad teacher!" I wailed.

Kimura looked absolutely horrified. "No, no that's not it. You're a great teacher! I swear it had nothing to do with you! I brought a phone to class! I broke the pact!"

_Bingo! _"What pact, Kimura-kun?" I returned a suspicious glare on him. "If you're not just trying to make me feel better, tell me what pact."

"It's the pact about Ito-san." I thought back to the case files Koenma had left with me yesterday.

"Wasn't he the student who threw himself off the roof two and a half weeks ago?" I asked. "What has he got to do with it?"

"He's taking his revenge on us!" was Kimura's dramatic reply. I lifted a disbelieving brow.

Kurama, who had been in a shocked silence to this point, spoke up. "What do you mean 'revenge'? What does Ito-san's death have to do with this anti-technology ban?" He gave Kimura a disgustingly paternal look and smiled reassuringly. _Shameless manipulator._

Kimura gave him an uncomfortable glance and shifted in his seat again. _My god, this kid is twitchy. Makes me nervous just watching him._ "It's because of Sato-san, because she made him the 'target.'" He looked at me, his eyes so full of trust. _This kid is a born sucker._

"Ito-san, Takahashi-san, and Sato-san are- were the best students in the class. Everybody knew that the Tokyo scholarship would go to one of those three. Takahashi and Ito were friends, but Sato tended to avoid them and could be more, um, competitive?" He said almost querulously.

I tried to recall Tanaka from the case files. _Takahashi Hana, 17, tied for first with Sato. One of the supposed 'victims' of a spirit energy attack._

"Sato can be a little bit vicious, and sometimes to relieve stress she would pick a 'target.' Usually it wasn't anything too bad. A little cyber bullying and shoe hiding and everyone one would go along with it simply because they had no desire to be next. I was the 'target' for a few weeks." _Why am I not surprised?_ "But then Takahashi accidentally bumped into Sato while she was walking down the stairs and Sato was convinced that it was purposeful, and then things got ugly."

"When she accused Tanaka, Ito pretty much tore her apart. Called her a paranoid harpy and the like. Humiliated her. I think that pissed her off more than almost getting pushed down the stairs. She built this website. You know, the type that posts all sorts of things about people. Malicious gossip mostly, but it's the sort of thing that a university review board might take seriously. Ito was destroyed and about three days after the stairs incident, we found his body splattered in front of the school. He sent us a mass email suicide note earlier that same morning. It promised that we would get what we 'deserved.'"

"Everyone was pretty shocked, but nobody took the email seriously. I mean, we're going to be scientists and engineers. We knew the difference between fantasy and reality, but then things became even stranger."

Yusuke came up to the table and handed us each a bowl of ramen. He handed Kurama and I sake and gave the kid a soda. "I figured, hey, it's the chicks first time, and I know what's good. Why bother with the ordering process." That upset me but I was feeling magnanimous, so I decided not to use his credit machine to empty his restaurants bank account. Besides, the ramen was good.

"So," Yusuke started, "you mind if I sit in. I love gruesome ghost stories, and it sounds like this one's getting pretty good." Kimura gave Yusuke a confused look. _Ugh, youkai hearing. There's no privacy any more. Well, at least I'm safe in my mind._

"Certainly, Yusuke. Your opinion would be invaluable," said Kurama. I gave Yusuke a calculating glance.

"I seriously doubt that," I said.

"Why, you bitch! I've been trouncing baddies and dealing with ghosts before you were out of diapers!" Yusuke shook his clenched fist in my general direction.

"Don't mind Rei, Yusuke. She's just a bitter malcontent." I resisted the urge to stab him with my chopsticks.

Kimura looked between Yusuke, Kurama, and I, confounded by the change both in the atmosphere and my personality. _Sh-, I forgot._

"Kimura-kun," I said giving him the big sister eyes again. He relaxed and I continued, "What happened next?" _God, this story is such bull._

"Well, we started getting more emails claiming to come from Ito. One told Sato that she would fall down the second story stairs. The next day she was standing at the top of the stairs, completely by herself, and she threw herself down. She said that she just blacked out and found herself at the bottom of the stairs."

"So the chick felt guilty and decided to take a tumble and then decided it was pretty stupid," Yusuke said. "That doesn't prove anything."

Kimura shook his head vigorously. "No, you don't understand. That was just one incident. Tanaka received an email and woke up lying across train tracks. Yamada, one of Sato's friends, received an emails saying she was going to kill her dog. The next day she blacked out and woke up with her hands wrapped around the throat of her German Shepard puppy. She had strangled it. Watanabe-san woke up hanging from the railing of a bridge. Arai-san wrecked a prototype she had built for a science competition." Kimura turned hollow frightened eyes on me. He was shaking and the color drained from his face. "I woke up and found that I had lit Mom's bed on fire. I love my mom. Do you think I would have done that of my own freewill? And those are only some of the examples." He rubbed his arms and shivered.

Kurama patted his shoulder sympathetically. "You said they were sent by email. Why did you not just stop using your email accounts?" he asked.

If it was even possible, Kimura's eye became even wider and more terrified. "That was the worst part. Every time we would so much as look at a computer screen, or smart phone, or any device, whether connected to the internet or not, those emails would come. This is Tokyo! There are monitors everywhere! Off the side of frigging buildings! In the train station! Everywhere! Watanabe hasn't left her room in the last two weeks. Yamada was so horrified that she left school and moved in with her grandparents in the country, and I-" He swallowed and rubbed his wrists under his coat jacket. I could see fine scars crisscrossing the pale flesh.

He started crying at this point, and even I was angry. I could feel the static electricity building around me. No one deserved to be terrorized like that; it was disgusting and cowardly. Yusuke's hands were clenched, and Kurama could barely conceal his raging aura.

"That's when we made the pact," Kimura continued. "No one would bring anything with a screen to school; no matter what. But, my mom's been ill. She was in the hospital this last week and I'm just terrified that at any moment-" He let the sentence drop.

"Kimura-kun," said Kurama. "Thank you for telling us everything that has happened. You've been very brave." Kurama turned intense emerald eyes on me. I returned his stare, we both in silent agreement.

"I promise that I will get to the bottom of this Kimura," I finished.

"B- but, I don't understand." Kimura said. "What can you do? You could be next!"

I turned and looked him in the eyes. "Trust me. I will end this. You don't have to worry about me."

He nodded his head and quickly began slurping down ramen. "It's getting late, Garner-sensei. I need to get to the hospital to see my mom."

"Of course," Kurama said. "I'll drop you off as soon as you finish."

We all finished our ramen in record time, and Kurama rushed out to drop Kimura at the hospital.

As soon as he left I called Koenma. "Did you collect Ito Shinji's soul? I see. Thank you."

I turned to Yusuke. "He says that Ito passed on to the next level on the same day as his death. He's sure because Botan was the one who ferried him across the River Styx."

Yusuke's faced darkened. "So not only is someone terrorizing a bunch of kids, they're using some dead kids name to do it. What a-"

"Bastard," I finished for him.

* * *

><p>And now we finally get to the first arch! Hurrah! And Yusuke makes the scene. Double hurrah!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry, darlings, no preview.

* * *

><p><span>Hot-Wired<span>

Chapter 4:

In which Kurama sees wonders.

* * *

><p>Kurama was two thousand years old. Two thousand. He had seen the rise and fall of human empires, earthquakes, tidal waves, volcanic eruptions, but those were nothing compared to the natural disasters that were intoxicated Yusuke and drunken Rei. Or to be more precise the typhoon fury of Urameshi Keiko when she discovered her husband, in the middle of his place of business, inebriated and in the company of an equally inebriated unknown female.<p>

After depositing Kimura Hideki at the hospital, Kurama returned to the Urameshi Family Ramen House to take Rei back to her own apartment.

He could smell alcohol before he opened the front door.

Upon entrance he found Yusuke receiving the pounding of a life time, while Rei sat back watching merrily and giving Keiko pointers. _Inari, I cannot believe I left her _alone_ with _Yusuke_. I had better clean this mess up._

"Rei-kun," Kurama called.

Rei finally noticed his entrance and hopped off the cashier's counter that just happened to be the best vantage point for enjoying the violent show of domestic abuse. She gave him a toothy grin and a western bow, complete with hand flourish. "Why yes, Kurama-dono? What can I, your humble subordinate, do for you this very fine evening?" Though her words were clear and crisp, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glassy.

_Fox-gods! She's drunk too._ "What happened here?" he asked coolly.

She smirked and straightened to her full height. "Well, Sir Yusuke and I felt, after our little dinner date with Kimura, that the atmosphere was a bit heavy in here and that alcohol fumes would lift it admirably. And so the sake flowed." Her explanation was accented with more hand flourishes.

"I see. It is getting late and you have work tomorrow. Perhaps we should be heading home," Kurama said while mentally kicking himself.

"Quite right, Captain. Quite right. Let me make my adieu." With that she spun around on her heel and marched up to Yusuke, who was still on the floor rubbing a sore jaw. "Beware. This is your victory but know that I shall return with greater reinforcements." She turned to Keiko, took her hand and bowed over it, saying, "Keiko-hime, my lady, your radiance causes the moon to hide his face in shame and envy. Fare thee well."

Keiko was blushing and trying not to laugh with all her might. Giggling, she said, "Until we meet again, good sir," and wiggled her fingers in a good bye.

_What in the world? _ Kurama thought, as they made their way out the door and climbed into the car. _Some things are better left unknown._

_**I don't know, Red. I'm somewhat curious.**_

_Youko, quiet. _

_**Touchy. Do you think we could make her call us Captain again?**_

_Youko._

_**Fine. Spoil-sport.**_

He turned to Rei, who was currently fascinated by the passing scenery. _How could she go out and drink after hearing Kimura's story?_

"Kimura-kun's mother appears to be fine," he said. "He was very much relieved."

Rei scowled and blew a chunk of her bangs out of her face. "I hate Kimura."

Kurama lifted an eyebrow. "Hate is very strong word."

"He's a kid," she said. "I hate kids. They can't take care of themselves. They trust everybody. Kids are stupid and I hate them." She sank lower in the car chair, with her arms crossed. "You just can't leave them alone."

Kurama smiled. "Ah, I see," he said. And see he did.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning fifteen minutes late with a pounding headache. I stumbled in and out of the shower, dressed, and threw my laptop, lecture notes, and case materials into a satchel. I ran out the door and raced to the train station.<p>

When I arrived, I discovered that they had already locked the front gate, and not wanting to deal with bitchy school administrators I searched for the keypad and gate camera. Once I found them I blinded the camera with a little static shock, and cracked the gate code. _Nothing like tickling bits at seven thirty in the morning. _

_Damn, time to put on my 'Botan-sensei' smile._ "Good morning class!" _Holy Colepitts, too hung over for perky._ "I hope everybody slept well, because we still have a lot more to cover from yesterday's lecture."

The class groaned. _Amazing, all of a sudden, I feel so much better._

* * *

><p>I made my way over to the teacher's lounge for lunch, figuring I could eavesdrop on some useful gossip or review case notes. Koenma's files did not tell me very much. A series of small but abnormal energy peaks were recorded at and about the time and place of Watanabe's, Sasaki's, and Tanaka's 'possessions.' For Yamada's, Arai's and Kimura's no energy blips were recorded, so their attacks went unnoticed and consequently unrecorded. An incident report was made for Ito's death and Kato-sensei's attempted suicide because they seemed suspicious, being so close in both time and degree of separation from the supernatural attacks and victims.<p>

_If the energy blips do not always signal an attack, there are probably more victims still unknown. And what made Watanabe, Sasaki and Tanaka different from the others victims? I think some student-teacher 'future plans' interviews are in order. Perhaps some parent-teacher meetings and home visits would be good also. _

I made my way over to an empty table in the corner of the room, next to the hot water maker and coffee pot, after nuking some left over ramen. I watched as the other teachers shuffled in.

"I'm not sure," said a short pleasantly plump young woman, sounding troubled. "Kato-san was pretty happy at the beginning of the year. And I don't remember her being moody or distant in the past. It was only these last two months that she, well, you know." She turned to look at her companion who was still walking through the door. He was tall and admittedly good-looking, with a square chin with slight stubble. _Mm, manly._

"You may not remember, but you know the quiet types. They're always emotionally unstable." _Never mind. He's a douche. _They turned, saw me, and bowed.

"Hello," the woman said. "My name's Iida Fumi. Are you Garner-san?"

"Yes, Garner Rachel," I stood and gave a slight bow. "It's a pleasure to meet you." The man stood silently behind her and made no move to introduce himself. He looked at me like I was the dirtiest sweat rag he had ever had the misfortune to look upon. _How would you like a mega-charged static shock, you disagreeable S.O.B?_

"This Kubota Yoshio-san," she said with a nervous smile.

"Pleasure," I said, nodding in his direction.

"Yes, a pleasure," he replied. "Iida-san, I just remembered that I left my bento at home. Sorry, but I'll have to go out for lunch."

"Oh, okay," she said as he turned to leave. "I'll see you later." She sat down across from me. _Excellent, a gossip. Just what the doctor ordered._

"I'm sorry about Kubota-san. He's usually very polite," she said, again smiling nervously. _No, no he's not. I bet he's only polite to you._

"I'm sure he is," I said with a reassuring smile. "What were you talking about earlier? Kato-san? Wasn't she my predecessor?"

Iida wiggled in her chair. "Yes, she attempted suicide about three and a half weeks ago. She had been acting very strange and paranoid for about a month before that. She was constantly watching who would touch her desk, especially her computer. And then she started giving outrageous curves on tests and extending deadlines for projects. She was normally flexible with her students about those sorts of things, but it was getting ridiculous. And then she had a nervous breakdown and well, the rest is history. We were struggling to find a replacement for her. We're lucky to have found you. You're American, right?" she asked. I nodded an affirmative. "I'm the second year English teacher. Would you mind if I practiced my accent on you?"

I mimicked Kurama's 'pleasant' smile, and said, "Certainly." _I'm probably not getting anything else out of this broad today. I'll go to Kurama's tonight and see if we can't figure out the mystery behind the unreliable energy signals._

* * *

><p>"Alright class, now, before you go I wanted to tell you that I'm going to have sessions with each of you over the next couple of days during homeroom. I want to discuss where you are in this class, your future goals, and I'd also like to get to know each of you a little better." I bounced energetically in place and smiled like a deranged chimpanzee. <em>Being Botan's sort of fun. I should try out the cat face. I'm not going to meow, though.<em>

They all nodded unenthusiastically and started to file out the door.

I stopped Kimura on his way out, and waited for the rest of the class to leave. I coughed into my hand and shuffled my feet a bit. "I just- I just, uh, wanted to know how are you doing?" I asked.

He gave me a 10,000 watt smile that almost knocked me off my feet. "I'm doing better. Mom's out of the hospital and, well," he looked at me shyly. "I know that you're going to help." With that he blushed and rushed out the door.

I lifted my hands to my mouth in shock. I was even more amazed to discover that my cheeks were hot and looking at my reflection in the glass door, I saw that I was as red as Kurama's hair. _Damn kids._ I could not stop smiling._ I really hate them._

* * *

><p>Kurama settled the last specimen under the UV lamp and wiped his dirt covered hands on a soiled rag. Two of the four bedrooms in Kurama's apartment had been converted into indoor gardens, resplendent with rare Makai flora. The other rooms were his personal bedroom and a library with a window seat (in case an old friend decided to visit.) It was not his mother's house or garden, but Kurama hardly felt comfortable living with her anymore. She and her husband were enjoying the happy retiree's life, and he did not want to be the reason that they could not enjoy every aspect of it, even the 'walking naked in the house together just because there are no kids to see' aspect.<p>

_**Ha! Even your mother's more fun that you, Kurama.**_

_Ah, Youko, what brings you to the forefront, this evening?_

_**Boredom. We're bored, Red. Plants are fine, but I think I'd like to play with something warm blooded.**_

_I don't think so. _

_**Isn't the lady investigator supposed to report to you tonight?**_

_Yes, why do you ask?_

_**Well, besides the obvious fact that she's much more enjoyable to look at than dirt clods, she's entertaining. We should take her with us to visit Urameshi**__. **Perhaps**__** she'll flirt with his mate again.**_

_I do not like the Garner-san- Yusuke combination._

_**Garner-san? It was Rei-kun last night.**_

_It doesn't matter. Inari, she's here. Shut up and don't do anything._

_**Wouldn't dream of it, Kurama.**_

Kurama walked to the front door, opening it before Rei could knock.

"Damn youkai hearing," she said. "Just gives me the creeps."

"I'm guessing you didn't come here just to insult me," he said. He opened the door wider and signaled that she should come in.

"No, that was only half my reason for coming," she replied, following him into to the kitchen and taking a seat while he prepared tea. "You noticed from last night that there were attacks not included in Koenma's report, right?"

"Yes, those attacks were not preceded by an energy spike," he answered, placing a teacup before her.

"Exactly. We know from Kimura's story that these incidents are all related to these 'messages.' I guess 'messages' will have to do because I can't really call them emails. Why would this psycho only be traceable part of the time? Once or twice I can put down to equipment failure, but seventy-five percent?" She grabbed her cup and sipped, her eyebrows scrunched together in an angry 'v'.

Kurama scrutinized her for a moment. _Is this even the same woman from last night?_ She continued to stare moodily into her teacup. _I guess so._ "He could be dividing the amount of power needed to launch these attacks so that he can more accurately control when the victim is affected."

She looked up at him, her eyebrows high and almost hidden under her bangs. "I don't follow," she said.

Kurama pulled two seeds from out of his hair. "Watch carefully and pay attention to my energy levels."

"Kurama, why were those stored in your hair?"

"Please, Rei-kun," he said, smiling. Rei gulped. "Pay attention." He took one of the seeds in one hand. It began to glow and almost immediately afterward exploded into bloom. Rei's eye turned big as saucers.

"I will not lie; that was excellent," she said.

_**Hear that, Red? We're excellent.**_

"Be quiet," Kurama said sharply.

_**So sensitive.**_

"What did I do?" asked Rei. "Sorry, I'll be sure never to compliment you again."

Kurama felt the vein in his temple twitch. "Now watch." He held out the other seed. It glowed for a minute and then stopped. He threw it next Rei's chair and then it burst into life, growing around her feet.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" she asked, trying to wiggle out from the vines.

"Did you notice the difference?" he asked.

"Of course," she answered. "The first demonstration exhibited a single large energy spike while the second exhibited two spikes half the size of the first. Obviously, the attacks included in Koenma's report were more rushed, or designed to influence the victim right away. Will you let me go already or do you want me to fry your little pet?"

_**That might be fun to watch.**_

Kurama recalled the vines, and Rei stood up. "Well, this has been educational and all," Rei said, stretching her back and arms. "But I still need more data. It would be best if we could observe one of these attacks first hand. Then we can be surer of the perpetrator's method."

Kurama stood in shocked silence. "You'd put them through that again? After everything that Sato, Tanaka and Kimura and the rest have already suffered, you would force them to endure it once more?"

Rei thought of Kimura's smile for a moment and frowned. She turned icy grey eyes to Kurama. "If it means that whoever is doing this never sees the light of day again, yes." She was quiet for a moment, looked away, and ran her hand through her bangs nervously.

_I've never seen her be anything but confident._

Rei looked back up at him again, her eyes less hard and distant. "I won't let them get hurt."

"Alright," Kurama replied. "I'll allow it, but I want to be there."

She smiled, probably the first genuine smile he'd seen, and said, "I was hoping you'd say that."

_**Ah, look. She's starting to trust us. How cute~**_

Kurama frowned. Rei looked confused for a moment and asked, "Kurama, man, are you alright?"

He shook himself and smiled his gentlemanly smile. "Quite alright, Rei-kun. It is getting a little late though."

"Okay, righty-o-then," she said, making her way toward the door. "Wouldn't want to disturb you doing whatever it is you do." She stopped. "Hey, what do you do? I mean for a living. I know you only work part time for Reikai."

"I run Hatanaka Computers Inc., why?"

"WHAT? The Hatanaka Computers? The producers of the X60T quad-core? The cutting edge superfast, super lightweight computer with the best graphics in this or any other galaxy? That Hatanaka Computers?" Her arms were stretched out in front of her like she was trying to hug the universe, her eyes were the size of softballs and she was shaking her head back and forth like a bobble-head doll.

_**See what I mean? Entertaining.**_

"So, you've heard of us?" Kurama asked, fighting to keep a straight face.

"Yes," she replied in a strangled voice.

"How would you like to consult for us?" he asked. At that moment Kurama saw the rarest event in the three worlds; rarer than the rise and fall of nations; rarer than a volcanic eruption. He saw Rachel Garner, thief, con-artist, psychic, electronics whiz, at a loss for words.

_**Told you. Better then plants.**_

* * *

><p>This is aggravating. I kept trying to concentrate on my studies and spent the whole weekend being distracted by thoughts of this story. I finally just gave up and wrote anyway. Damn you, Kurama, Youko, Yusuke and mostly damn you Rei! I'll be sneaking my textbooks into work tomorrow.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

In which our heroine learns the 'gravity' of punctuality.

* * *

><p>Kurama stood at Rei's front door and knocked, just as he had knocked for the last five minutes. He cleared his throat, feeling the eyes of Rei's nosy neighbors bore into him from their windows and total strangers from the street. Kurama had explained in great detail that Rei should expect to see him at five the next morning so that he might accompany her to school and supervise the first of the tests. And here he was, in front of probably the only single female foreigner's front door within a five mile radius, being inspected by the entire block. He caught the eye of a particularly sour old woman peeking from between window blinds, and received an impressively disapproving scowl.<p>

_That's it._

Kurama surreptitiously slid a bit of corrosive powder he a distilled from one of his botanical experiments from up his sleeve and poured a bit out of the small glass vial into the space between the door and frame, and melted the lock bolt. He allowed the door to open a little and pretended to have been invited in. He found Rei asleep on a small balcony on the opposite side of her apartment. Had he been anything less than the reincarnation of Youko Kurama, he might have tripped over the piles of clothes, electronics, computer towers and miscellaneous circuit diagrams covering every spare inch of her apartment.

Rubbing his temples, he bent over Rei, about to shake her awake, until a large arch of electricity shot out at him. _Inari, nothing is simple with this one, or perhaps everything's too simple._

He patted down his singed hair, scowled and made his way into Rei's tiny kitchen. He walked back with a mop bucket full of water and, with a great deal of sadistic pleasure, poured it all over her head.

He jumped back in reaction to another impressive flash of psycho-electric energy. Rei shot up and sputtered angrily, "F- f- farads! What the hell was that for?" She stood up, her hair and robot-patterned flannel pajamas plastered to her form.

_The simile 'like a drowned rat' comes to mind, _thought Kurama, smiling politely. "Good morning, Rei-kun. "

"Morning, my ass. Why are you here?" she asked turning around on her little patio balcony. "It's not even light out." She looked at him through red sleep encrusted eyes.

Kurama quirked a crimson eyebrow. "We discussed this last night, remember. I said I would pick you up at five. It is presently five fifteen."

Rei tilted her head, hazel eyes round, and sounding amazed said, "You were serious. Wow."

Kurama pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing at his oncoming headache. "Get dressed. We have work to do."

"Pushy."

* * *

><p>I sat slumped at my desk at seven in the morning, attempting to flick a bent out of shape paperclip into a tipped over glass. Yes, I, Rachel Saki Garner was at work at seven in the morning. Wonders never cease. Alright, it wasn't entirely of my own volition. Kurama might have had a hand in it.<p>

I re-aligned the paper clip, zeroing in on the goal, my concentration perfect. I calculated the effect of the air-conditioning induced breeze, wound up my finger, and-

"Ahem, Garner-sensei?"

-Missed entirely.

"_What?_" I yelled in English.

Sato flicked her perfectly quaffed ponytail and harrumphed, unimpressed. "I do not know, Sensei," she said. "You told me that I was to be the first student in these 'student-teacher' conferences."

"I know. I'm waiting for the councilor," I replied exasperatedly.

"Excuse me?" she asked. "Why?"

"Don't you want the most effective advice possible? Do you really want to rely on me for your future planning?"

Sato remained silent.

"Thought not."

Kurama finally made his way back into to the classroom, after having finished the last of the preparations in the computer lab. "Garner-_sensei_, I think we're ready for our first student." He flashed a heart-stopping smile to Sato and she blushed like she just discovered she possessed hormones. _Great, now I'll have to scrape this teenaged puddle off the floor. Thanks a lot, Kurama._

"It's about time," I replied. "It sure took you long enough." Sato glared at me. We made (I stomped) our way to the computer lab, leaving the class to the care of my teacher's assistant (read as flunky.)

Halfway down the hall, Sato asked, "Where are we going?"

"Computer labs. You're taking a career aptitude test." Sato stopped mid-step.

"No, I'm not," she replied.

"No need to worry," Kurama said pulling one of her arms under his own and patting her hand. "This test is only meant as a tool to help you expand your career options. There's no need to be nervous." He smiled that trustworthy smile and I was nearly blown over by the pheromones and psychic energy he was directing at the poor girl. _He really is utterly shameless. I wonder if he's enjoying this at some level. And if he is, I wonder if he even knows._

Sato's eyes glazed over and she mumbled, "But." Before she could shake the cloud of Kurama-induced confusion, she was herded the rest of the way to the computer room, and seated in front of a monitor.

I flicked on the screen and clicked the 'Career Pathways' shortcut on the desktop.

"Please answer these questions as accurately as possible," I said in a bored monotone. "This might clue you into a hither-to-unknown talent or calling. Be back in fifteen and remember, be true to yourself."

Sato sat in stunned silence but snapped into life as I began to close the door behind her. "No, wait!" she panicked, but I pretended I had not heard. I flicked on my monitoring systems and waited to for a response. From my smart phone I watched as Sato jumped back around and attempted to flick off the screen, but I kept it on. Before she had the presence of mind to unplug the thing, the screen flashed and she stood stock still, mouth agape, eyes glued to the screen. Kurama and I completely hid our auras so as not to disturb the test and made our way back into the room. Kurama and I studied the screen. It still appeared to be a career aptitude test to the naked eye.

But to the spiritual eye? _Shit, if I were less powerful, I don't think I could withstand this kind of manipulation._

I could feel the attacker's intent trying to warp my will as the electro-spiritual energy flickered into my eyes like a dying fluorescent light bulb, giving me the beginnings of an impressive headache.

"I was wrong," Kurama said his voice deeper and gruffer. "And I was right. He was not splitting the power because he wanted to control when the attack occurred more accurately. He wanted her to be constantly bombarded with his mind-control attacks."

"What?" I asked still rubbing my eyes and attempted to stave off my growing sinus pressure.

"He's marked her. Look," he replies pointing to right below Sato's left ear. A small black microchip was embedded there, pulsating with a bizarre blue white light. "He's using her own spiritual energy as a sort of antennae and amplifier of his power and is broadcasting it to any screen available, making it impossible for her to run from him."

"Marked her?"

"Yes, I've seen this before, only the last user of a similar technique was fonder of insects then electronics. I can almost guarantee that those attacks preceded by high energy reading were perpetrated without the use of these," he said, eyeing the chip with distaste. "Rei-kun, with as much finesse as is possible for you, please de-activate this device before Sato-san finally succumbs to its control."

I made my way to Sato's side and placed a finger gingerly over the ic's black plastic case. My consciousness flooded the piece and for just a moment, I saw the millions of logical possibilities, the combinations and re-combinations of millions of microscopic components flipping on and off faster than the human mind can imagine. And for that moment, I understood it all. I quickly followed the circuit diagram mapped in my mind from that instant, isolated the power to the chip and flipped off the psychic power source.

The chip peeled off of Sato's neck and she collapsed into Kurama's waiting arms.

I blinked twice, picked up the chip from the floor, and turned to Kurama. "I have never seen anything like that before. I don't know who made this, but it's not from any components manufacturer I've ever known."

"We need to send it to Koenma. In all likelihood, it was not made in the Ningenkei."

"What is demon technology doing in a human high school?" I said, feeling true fear for the first time in six years.

"Being tested," he said.

"That was what I was afraid of, but, but, it still doesn't make sense. Ito's death, Kato's death, Sato's injuries, Kimura's attacks on the person he hold dearest in the world, it's all about that class, those kids in that class. Whatever is going on, it's personal."

"You're right but I don't know what the connection is," Kurama said, his voice supernaturally calm. "But we shall find out. First we will search the other children, record which ones have been marked, remove the marks, and find out why there were attacks not augmented by these devices. In all probability, the perpetrator handled them directly. That should give us a clue to their identity."

I cleared my throat, "Um yeah, guess we could do that." He gave me a blank look, and stretched out his hand.

"Oh yeah, the ic. I could hold it until Botan got here." He lifted an eyebrow. "Or you could look after it. Makes no never mind to me," I said with a nervous laugh. _I would have given it to Koenma … eventually._

Kurama let out a tired sigh. "Let's bring in the next student. Perhaps Koenma may not notice if we send one of the chips in a little bit later."

I grinned. _I think I'm beginning to like this guy, even if he did wake me at five fourteen in the morning. _"When we're done, let's celebrate at Yusuke's."

* * *

><p>I stretched out in one of the corner booths, nursing a beer, waiting for Yusuke to close up shop. Kurama sat across from me. Somehow, he managed to slurp his ramen elegantly and discretely observed me. <em>Probably thinks I'm going to get plastered again.<em>

"Don't worry, I'm only having one tonight, and I won't touch the sake," I said, scowling.

"You've set me at ease," he replied dryly.

"So, Wonder Woman, couldn't get enough of me?" Yusuke asked, once again waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

_Man needs to learn a new trick._ "Nope, just waiting for your smoking hot wife," I reply. Yusuke swallowed and looked nervous. "Not really, twat. Though, with your lack of charm and sensitivity, it wouldn't surprise me if you lost her to a woman."

Kurama stifled a chuckle that almost resulted in choking on a noodle. Yusuke simply scowled.

"Do you want the case update or not?" I ask, tired of his manly posturing. Yusuke huffed and crossed his arms, but nodded a yes.

Kurama gave him a synopsis of the case so far, and we sat in silence for a few minutes reviewing the facts.

"I can ask a few of my contacts if there has been an increase in smuggling from the Makai," Yusuke finally said. He turned to Kurama. "You should ask Hiei."

Kurama sighed. "He has contacted me in six months, but I will try."

"Who's Hiei?" I ask.

Yusuke turned to me, and inspected me from toe to head. "I can't decide whether he's someone you ought to meet or not."

"Definitely not," replied Kurama, though for a second there was a golden glimmer of mischief it his green eyes.

* * *

><p>I decided to walk back to my apartment that night, since I only lived four blocks from Yusuke's. I passed a few unsavory types that were lurking in the alleys, but, as I was a full head taller than most of the men and about twice across the shoulders, they let me be. <em>And to think there was a time in my misspent youth when I wanted to be dainty.<em> I wrapped my black duster around me, fighting off the chill, and walked passed a particularly seedy looking bar. I turned the corner, but stopped when I heard the sound of voices and scuffling behind the back.

I debated. Should I investigate? Did I particularly care that some sot was getting the crumb beat out of him for not having the good sense get sauced somewhere safe?

No, not particularly. I shrugged and started on. Then I heard the high pitched scream.

Damn.


	6. Chapter 6

So, I just wanted to take a moment to thank a few of the people who have bothered to keep track of and continue to read this little tale of mine. I know that I have been a long time in updating this thing but in my defense, I am a grad student and working full time, so please don't hurt me. I'm too young and beautiful to die.

Crystal Jaganshi and littlemija69, I think I may love you. Don't ever leave me. Also, Kiriatana, thank you so very much for you very thoughtful review; it seems as though you enjoyed reading this story about as much as I enjoyed writing it. And yes, Youko. *Squee*

* * *

><p>Chapter 6:<p>

In which out fair heroine experiences an identity crisis.

* * *

><p>Daisuke was pretty well convinced that he was going to die.<p>

Tonight.

It was not because his stomach was being repeatedly kicked up into his esophagus. It was not because he was currently bleeding out from all quarters in a back alley behind a transvestite bar. No, Daisuke was sure he was going to die **tonight** because he had served Nakamura Kenji his martini stirred, not shaken.

Not that it was really his fault. Heck, he was not the bar tender; he was just the one who handed the drink over and simpered. He did not even want to do that, but that it paid a small, poor, high school dropout with a kid sister much more than he could make selling cosmetics.

"I liked you, Midori. You made the costumers feel welcome, wanted, and you pushed the most expensive drinks, but I have to say, I was very disappointed tonight." Nakamura leaned down over him, and smiled like the greased snake everyone knew he was. "I thought I could count on you to make me the money, but now I find that you just don't care about the customer and therefore my bottom line after all."

Daisuke did not know why Nakamura had decided to 'check up on his investment' this night, or why he had been especially chosen so that Nakamura could release his ire. Perhaps a drug shipment failed to make it passed customs, and he needed a way to lighten his mood. So, of course, what better way to do that than to kick the snot out someone who dressed in drag for a living?

Nakamura ordered his two gorillas to stop. For a brief moment Daisuke dared to hope, but then Nakamura flicked open his switchblade, and crouched next to his cheek. "I'm going to miss you Midori; send Tanaka-baasan my love."

Daisuke squeezed his eyelids tight together and prepared himself for the brief moment of pain and gave a last desperate scream.

But the moment never came. He heard a groan, a "what the fu-," and a crashing sound. His eyes flew open to see Nakamura's back.

Passed him he saw one of Nakamura's ugly henchmen passed out on the ground with his fellow thug partner checking his vitals. And passed him? A tall, broad shouldered and incredibly handsome man dressed in a long black coat that reached to his calves. He held a black collapsible baton in his right hand, and it became painfully obvious what had become of Nameless Goon Number 2.

"Who the hell are you?" demanded Nakamura. "This isn't your business."

Cold grey eyes turned from Nakamura, and bore into Daisuke's, causing him to gulp. The stranger immediately refocused on Daisuke's neck instead. _It's a Transylvanian vampire, _Daisuke thought, _and he wants to make me one of his blood slaves! Finally, something good!_

The stranger snorted, rolled his eyes, and said in a slightly higher voice than expected, "Figures, a dude." He turned his attention to Nameless Goon Number One. Goon One attacked, but the stranger side-stepped him, and knocked him behind the neck with a baton.

"I don't think you realize what you're doing, asshole," said Nakamura, trying to sound nonchalant. "I'm kind of a big deal here. The name's Nakamura, Nakamura Kenji."

The stranger's eyes widened for just a moment in recognition, but then shrugged, got a better grip on his baton and rushed Nakamura.

Daisuke heard a grunt as Nakamura's switch blade made a shallow cut on one of the stranger's arms. They scuffled about, each trying to get an advantageous footing that would finally be able to force his opponent to the ground. Finally the stranger was able to hook one of Nakamura's ankles, tripping him and chin-tapped the Yakuza thug unconscious with his baton.

The stranger then turned back to Daisuke, who was already pushing himself up off the ground, sighed and began to walk out of the alley.

"W-wait!" Daisuke yelled, scrambling to get up. The stranger turned around, his coat billowing out behind him, and lifted an eyebrow.

"Wait! What's your name?" asked Daisuke.

"Rei," the stranger threw over his shoulder, disappearing into the night.

_Rei? Wow,_ thought Daisuke with a blush. _He's so cool!_

* * *

><p>I plastered the small cut that the bleach-haired goon made on my upper arm with a bit more vim than was absolutely necessary. The stinging helped to remind me what happens when you needlessly stick your neck out like a valiant moron. <em>This inspector bull is clouding your mind, Ray. Now you're playing hero to dudes in distress and sticking your nose in <em>_**gangster**__ business. Last thing in the world you need is to draw attention from Yakuza. It may have been eight years, but I doubt they've forgotten you or Pappy._

_Let's focus on getting Koenma off your back, huh? So, this mind control freak is using Ito's death? Let's start with him, or more like, let's start with his best friend._

* * *

><p>I stared down at Tanaka Hana's daisy blossom hair clip, took in her wide doe eyes, and inspected her low pigtails. <em>Coulombs help me; it's a female Kimura.<em>

Tanaka was fidgeting in place and shifting her weight from one foot to the other. This strange display was either meant to indicate an urgent need to urinate, or Tanaka really was just that damn shy.

"Sensei?" she asked, bottom lip trembling. "I'm not in trouble, am I?"

_Channel Botan, channel Botan. Come on! You can do it!_ I smiled my warmest, fuzziest, 'Grandmama just thinks you're so cute' smile. "Not at all, Tanaka-chan."

She visibly relaxed and returned my sickeningly sweet smile.

"I've actually been a bit concerned about you. I understand that you have been under a lot of emotional strain, and if you need anything from me at all, be sure to ask," I said, while trying to give off warm fuzzy psychic waves. It must have worked because Tanaka started tearing up and flew at me. I found myself in an awkward hug, patting the girls back while whispering "that's alright" and "it'll be okay." _I feel very uncomfortable. What is this tingling sensation in my chest? I don't like it._

"Sensei, sensei, no one believes me. I know Ito didn't kill himself, and I know that he wouldn't, that he didn't…" she stopped, her eyes widening and turning frightened. She let go, backed away, stumbled a few feet and tried to run off.

_Why do teenagers make everything so flipping dramatic?_ I caught her shoulders, and attempted a soothing voice. "You don't have to worry. I know about the messages. I believe you, so why don't you tell me about Ito-san, hmm?"

She looked even more spooked than before and attempted to escape my grip.

"Yeah,_ Tanaka_-_chan_," said a voice from the hallway. "Why don't you tell her all about Ito-kun?" Sato slipped in the classroom, flounced to a desk near my own and crossed her ankles. Tanaka stared at Sato, then me, and then tore out of my grip and out the door.

Sato lifted a single brow while watching Tanaka's panicked escape. "It's really none of your business and you're way out of your league, whoever you are," she said turning back to face me. "But, by all means, bury yourself. That will be one less uncouth overgrown barbarian to ignore."

I let slip a little smirk, and fingered my chin. "Hmm, I see, yes, definitely."

Sato gulped and shifted in her seat. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"I'm looking into your future."

"Huh?"

I moved closer and closer until I was leaning over her and inspecting the premature wrinkles on her forehead. "Just as I suspected, detention. Tomorrow."

Her mouth dropped open.

I smiled. "Not only am I uncouth and overgrown, but I'm also a very _petty_ barbarian." The only thing that could have improved that moment was for me to have walked jauntily out of the room whistling. Unfortunately, I have never been able to whistle, so I had to be content at walking jauntily and winking at her as I made my exit.

* * *

><p>It must have been forty degrees outside when I finally caught up to Tanaka on her way home. Shivering slightly, I readjusted my duster.<p>

"You shouldn't be afraid of that one," I said. "She's what I like to call a 'poser'."

Tanaka ignored me and continued on her way home.

I do not like to be ignored. "Why thank you, Hana-chan! I would love to have tea at your place. What a sweet and dutiful student I have been blessed with. The kami smiles upon me."

She froze in place. "W-what?" she stuttered.

"Sensei is scheduling an impromptu home visit! Bonzai!" I finally had a chance to exercise Botan's cat face. It was glorious.

"No!" she squeaked. "I mean I don't, that is, um."

I smiled my brightest, and took her by the shoulder. "Let's go, shall we?" She nearly tripped over her short legs trying to keep up with my pushing. _Ah, the tribulations of the vertically challenged. There, but for the grace of genetics, go I._

Ten minutes later I began to notice some very familiar landmarks.

"Did you know I was your next door neighbor?" I asked her. "What are the odds in a city this large?"

"Yes sensei, I knew" she said. "I don't think you realized it because you're always late, so we have never passed each other on the way to school." A gloom had settled about her as we made our way to her apartment.

She took out her keycard and began, "Sensei, I don't want you to think differently of me, but I- I-"

"Hana-chan!" came an irritatingly happy squeal through her front door. It swung open violently and a familiar face burst into my vision. Big sparkly brown eyes, long bleached blonde hair, sweet heart shaped face… _Now, why does he look so familiar? _I took a moment to study the bubbly person before me. _Add makeup, floral print dress, boa, and a look of absolute terror_… "Ah, back-alley guy," I said. "Why are you here?"

His eyes grew huge, and he sucked in a violent breath. "You! It's you! Oh my god!" he screamed. He then proceeded to bounce in place and clap his hands together like he was performing the chicken dance on fast forward.

Hana-chan looked almost as confused as I did, her big brown doe eyes blinking. "Daisuke onii-san, why are you squealing like a pre-teen?"

"It's him! It's him, Hana!" he continued.

"Who?" she asked.

"My vampire prince!" he yelled, amazingly still hopping. "Wait, it's daylight. How is it you're not dead? Of course, you must be a Daywalker, one of the most ancient and powerful of your kind." He held his chin and nodded his head sagely. His face then took on a twisted tragic look. Grabbing Hana, he wailed, "I know that you've waited so long for me, my prince, but I cannot leave with you. I can't leave my sweet innocent Hana behind to follow you into the darkness."

"Onii-san," Hana said, her voice flat. "This is my sensei. The one I told you about before, the new foreign homeroom teacher."

"Really, so you're not a vampire?" he asked. I shook my head, still in a daze trying to follow his crazed fantasy. "Well, there's no problem then; no need to follow you into the path of the damned if you're not a bloodsucking tortured soul. You can live with me and Hana."

I stood in complete silence, head tilted and mouth open. Hana wiggled her way out of her brother's arms.

"Oni-san, this is Garner Rachel-sensei. **She** teaches applied mathematics, and **she** wanted talk with you about my career goals," Hana said, very slowly and deliberately.

"She?" Daisuke asked. "This tall, strapping, foreigner is a woman? No." He turned back to me. "No, it can't be true." He grabbed the front of my duster and ripped it open. "Impossible!" he yelled staggering away. "My tall handsome savior was a woman! How could life be so cruel?"

Hana caught her fainting brother and dragged him through the door. "Sensei," she said with a wry smile, "why don't you come inside?"

"Hana-chan, would you do me a favor?" I asked in a faint whisper.

"What sensei?"

"Could you bury me next feminine pride?"

"No," she replied sweetly, "but I could brew you a cup of tea."

"You wouldn't happen to have any rum instead?" I asked.

Her eye grew large with shock. "Sensei! What a thing to ask a minor!"

* * *

><p>I know, I know, "Where's Kurama? Where's Yusuke? You promised me Hiei, Bitch! What's with all the crappy OCs?"<p>

Don't worry, I promise that the gang will be returning to entertain you shortly and that Hana and Daisuke exist for a reason.


	7. Chapter 7

This chapter is slightly shorter than the last few, but I hope to add another chapter this month. So, enjoy.

Also, thank you CrimsonRosen for your insightful review. I also enjoy reading your fic, _Restless Wind_, though I haven't read it's newest update.

As always, love~ = littleemija69. And thank you pourquoibella for your multiple positive reviews. Your enthusiasm just makes me want to keep on trucking.

* * *

><p>Chapter 7:<p>

In which Kurama reaffirms that Karma is a bizotch.

* * *

><p>Kurama rinsed the last plastic Tupperware and placed it in the dish-drainer to dry. It had been a pleasantly peaceful day and he was enjoying the soothing sensation that always accompanied tidying up.<p>

It really had been a remarkably relaxing day.

_**Red.**_

_Yes?_

_**Not that I really care, but I believe the lady inspector was supposed to have arrived for her daily report by now.**_

_And your point is? She's capable._

_**Yes, therein lays the problem. She's very capable…of anything, and we have not seen hide **_**or**_** hair of her in eighteen hours.**_

Kurama dropped the sponge with which he had been wiping the counter.

_You may have a point. But really, what could she do in…perhaps we should contact Koenma. _

_**If she's done anything illegal, he may not be the entity to call. And let us face it; she probably is doing something illegal…or is face down drunk in a ditch.**_

_Let us pray for the ditch then._

* * *

><p><em>I really want a rum and coke. Really really bad~. <em>Do not misunderstand me; I was not a drunk. I simply found that liquor helped me to release pent up frustration and stress, and I just happened to lead a very stressful life. So, my desire for a couple _cuba libres _would have been entirely understandable given the circumstances. And what would those stress inducing circumstances have been, pray tell?

Tanaka Daisuke. 'Nough said.

What, not following? Then allow me to set the scene.

Center stage, seated in front of a low coffee table, uncomfortably perched on a pillow, _not_ consuming an alcoholic beverage, was your heroine and generally brilliant main character, yours truly. Seated stage left, was the bubbly side character, Tanaka Hana, peacefully sucking down a strawberry milk. Yes, I know, could she be any more cookie cutter? But in order to maintain the cosmic balance, seated stage right was Daisuke, alternatively staring adoringly at me, weeping, clutching his face, and scowling. Now, these are not uncommon reactions upon meeting me. All who look upon me love me and despair, but I have never induced all of those reactions at the same time in the same person. Needless to say, even my steely nerves were beginning to strain. _Magnetic dipoles, that's creepy._

"Tanaka-san," I began, attempting to restore some semblance of normality to the tri-verse, "I was wondering if it might be possible to ask Hana-chan and yourself a few questions about the weeks prior to Ito-san untimely demise?"

"Ito?" asked Daisuke. "Who's this Ito, Hana?"

Hana instantly choked on her strawberry milk. Coughing slightly, she replied, "Just a friend from school, Nii-san."

"Not a boy, I hope," he replied. "You're much too young and innocent and naïve and pretty and… You can't hang around those predators. Do you understand?" His face was grave, and for a moment it occurred to me that Daisuke may not in all actuality have been as fluffy and vapid as I first believed.

"You have to stay with your Nii-san forever and ever, because I love you more now than ever. Especially now that my handsome rescuer has transformed into a woman." And once again he turned to me and went through the same facial gymnastics as before.

_Transformed? Does he think I fell into a cursed spring while sleep walking?_ "Ehh, yeah, anyways, I'll talk to you tomorrow, Hana-chan. I really got to dri-ehh sleep. Goodnight."

With that last ditch effort, I attempted to escape through the front door. I believe to this day Koenma must have been jealous of my superior intellect, because Daisuke came to a decision. Apparently he had been debating with himself throughout my visit, and through much deliberation decided that 'True love conquers all.'

I know this because he actually yelled, "True love conquers all."

While tackling me.

To the ground.

I am not proud to admit what followed:

I screamed, like a little girl.

I then shot out a small electro-psychic blast that threw Daisuke off of me, ran across the living room, and jump off of the Tanaka family balcony. As ran off into the night, I distinctly heard Daisuke say dreamily, "She really was a vampire."

* * *

><p>I did not stop running until I reached Kurama's front door. He must have heard my rapid heart palpitations because he opened it just before I slammed into it, thus saving the door. I was not so lucky. For being a bit shorter and slighter than I, Kurama was one strong sturdy bastard.<p>

I landed unceremoniously on my ass. Kurama simply lifted a perfect languorous brow.

"I have a delusional but ardent homosexual stalker, and he knows where I live," I blurted out.

Kurama lifted the other brow. "If he is male, how are you in danger?" he asked, maintaining an otherwise emotionless façade.

I rubbed my forehead, screwed up my eyes, lifted my hands and said, "True love conquers all?"

And the foxed faced son of hound laughed. Oh the humanity.

* * *

><p>"You cannot stay here, Rei-kun." Kurama was firm. He would under no circumstances allow Hurricane Rei to remain in his domicile for any extended period of time.<p>

"But, you don't understand," Rei whined. "He knows where I live~" She began to pathetically twirl her fingers around each other and attempted what Kurama could only guess was here version of 'the puppy dog eyes.'

_She looks like a frog demon when she pops her eyes out that far._

"You do realize that you will have to return to your apartment at some point, correct?" he asked. "That is, of course if, you ever want to see your assortment of computers and electronic equipment again."

Rei stood still; not a muscle twitched. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, she croaked, "My babies." Without another word, she about-faced and stalked out the door.

_Is that the new detective?_

Kurama sighed; his shoulders slumped ever so slightly. _Of course, Hiei, _he thought, _you would return on her worst night in recent history._

_She's pathetic._

_I would have to agree in this instance_, Kurama replied. _None the less, when not accosted by obsessed fans, she handles herself fairly well._

Hiei slipped in through the kitchen window, and perched on its sill. _Feeling sympathetic? Do you find her plight familiar?_

_**Well, we've caused men to fall in love with us against their original tastes, but I do not think we've ever seduced a woman that was predisposed to other women before. We'll have to remedy that.**_

_No, we will not._

_Youko is talking to you again?_ thought Hiei. _Since when has this started?_

_**Since things have gotten interesting.**_

_Youko._

_**Killjoy.**_

Hiei smirked, and leaped off of his perch. "Interesting? That overgrown excuse for a female? Hn."

Kurama covered his face and muttered, "Damn."

* * *

><p><em>He may have destroyed my pride as a woman and a detective but he will not touch my pride as an- an- engineering thief thingy?<em> I thought to myself. I had often come to this problem in the past; what exactly was my profession?* It was while I was lost in this existential reverie that I began to feel a certain feeling.

A sort of creepy feeling, like someone was staring at the back of your head before lopping it off in a homicidal frenzy. I slowed down and listened for footfalls. I heard the faint flapping of fabric behind me, like a long coat caught in a gust of wind. Whirling around to face an empty street, I knew something was very wrong. I instinctually pushed the magnetic field that naturally produced farther out in an attempt to locate the creepiness-nexus, _or would that be the creepiness-node? Maybe the creepiness-focus? _

_Nah, definitely a nex- holy diodes!_ While I had been distracted by the finer points of nodal semantics someone really had attempted to separate my glorious noggin from my shoulders. If they had not used a steel katana, I am not sure they would not have succeeded. Thankfully, it was steel, and it was a simple matter to magnetically repel and thus slow the shiny pig sticker and then parry the strike with my baton.

I turned and met the crazed glowing red eyes and feral grin of my attacker. Or I should say I turned, and met empty space, looked down and then saw the red eyes and feral grin of my attacker. My very very short attacker. _Very very very short. I mean short. Seriously short. I've been sucked up into a tornado, deposited in Oz, and accosted by one of the Lollipop Kids, short. Short- short- short – damn near Lilliputian- tiny- shooorrrrtt~_

"Enough."

_Like in the micro-range short. A micro-midget._

"Enough," the little man growled, as he applied a greater pressure to my baton.

_Like a leprechaun and an angst-ridden sprite got it on and had a vertically challenge changeling. Truly supremely shor-_

"Enough!" he screamed and made to lop off my pretty little head.

"What's your problem?" I asked, blocking his attack and sending an electric current down my baton and into his katana. He did not seem terrible shocked by this maneuver (and yes I did just make that pun.)

Frodo Baggins jumped back and threw his sword to the side, smirking like the deranged little hobbit I suspected he was. I smirked in return.

"That was a smart move, my diminutive friend."

"Tonight you die, bitch," he replied.

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><p>Kurama sighed. <em>I'll have to hurry. Hiei's power levels just spiked higher, again.<em>

_**Excellent, we wouldn't want to miss the show.**_

Kurama let loose another sigh, ran out the front door, slipped out his cell phone, and dialed.

"Yusuke, code black."

Yusuke was silent for just a moment and then…"Shit."

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><p>*I thought it might be entertaining if some of my lovely readers could give me some titles for what Rei does for a living. I mean what exactly do you call someone who is a quarter industrial spy, quarter electronics wizard, quarter gumshoe, and a quarter inveterate boozer?<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

First thing I'd like to do is apologize for taking so long to update. I've been extremely busy and I hope I haven't put you guys off my story permanently. Such is the life of a grad student.

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><p>Chapter 8:<p>

In which Hiei do what he want~ and Kurama wonders if he really deserved that.

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><p>"Oh," I pouted. "There's no need for name calling, sweetheart." I angled my body to the side so that he would have less of a target when the little black bundle of joy decided to rush me. "Give momma some love," I taunted with a smirk, waving my baton in front of him.<p>

The little person, here on out to be referred to as LP, grunted like a Neanderthal, and faster than I could blink, I found him within my personal bubble. Luckily, I avoided a fist through the kidneys by a hair by side stepping his fist, and grabbing at his wrist and sending what should have been a lethal current through his body.

Surprisingly, he did not go into cardiac arrest. I think my eyes must have bulged out of my skull at this point. "What the hell?"

He just gave me this little cocky smirk, broke my grasp, and punched me into a wall. _Bastard doesn't even have the decency not to gloat._

Shaking loose the definite brain damage (_thank Henry I have extra to spare) _that resulted from my little flight, I rolled to the side, jumped to my feet and faced him again. _How does one fight someone that fast? _

LP tilted his head to the side, and an image of a surprisingly cute sparrow popped into my head. I have often thought back on that moment and wondered what the hell was wrong with my mind. _Okay, time to dip into Rei's sneaky bag of tricks_. I flipped open my duster and sent a powerful surge of electricity through my body, inducing an equally powerful magnetic field outward in all directions. Now, you may wonder, what the hell would that do? Normally, nothing, but if you just so happen to be in the habit of sowing bits of shrapnel into the lining of say a large black duster and wearing it everywhere, well then it becomes a very destructive _omnidirectional_ rail-_shot_-gun.

LP made a dive behind a parked car in an entirely futile attempt to avoid my favorite attack. I say futile because unlike with an actual shotgun, the bullets do not only fly outward; I can call all of my _ikkle _friends back and forth and back and forth… Well, the idea is that if I so chose, I could produce a swirling force field of shiny pointy death.

LP dragged his bleeding body out from behind the _Mitsubishi_, heaving chest and all. I figured at this point LP would do the sensible thing, and simply give up. I mean really, shiny pointy death, who in their right mind goes after a person who can produce that?

It was at this moment that I learned something very important about LP: he was one batshit crazy son of a bitch.

That's right, you guessed it, he _rushed_ me. He went straight through my swirling metal death trap like Charlie Sheen through the Playboy mansion, with a _flaming_ fist. Not only did he send me into yet another brick wall, he burned my duster while he was at it. He did not give me a chance to shake my vertigo from that punch before he kicked me into the same aforementioned and much-abused _Mitsubishi_. Before he could clock me again, I rolled to the right, popping up a good five feet from where he was standing looking very smug and condescending.

_You smarmy little bastard, don't smirk at me! Calm down Rei. No time for that._ _Keep your distance; assess the field; find an advantage._

I ran an eye over the terrain. Standard urban cityscape. Cars parked in front of apartments, streetlamps, neon lights… _ah, that's it._ I repositioned myself, trying to gauge when he would attack from his stance, moving slightly backwards and towards an alleyway.

LP sniffed in disgust. "Running away already, woman?"

I pretended to be insulted, giving him a pretty little sniff, and said, "I won't stay where I'm not wanted, sugarplum."

Feral red eyes gleamed and he made his move. I knew he would think I was moving towards the alley, but I leaped left instead of right, ducking and rolling much faster than I should have been capable of. He missed me by a hairsbreadth again, vaporizing the fire hydrant I had positioned myself in front of. A veritable geyser spewed forth from the water main.

I flashed a cheeky grin. "What a gentleman you are to help me so. Here, a thank you present." I slammed my palm down into the water pooling around us and let loose, keeping the current going while I latched onto the closest streetlamp to feed my powers. He, of course, was rooted to the ground, incapable of escape until the current stopped.

This was not what I had been hoping for. By all rights, the little twerp should have been vaporized. Instead he was staring at me with those creepy glowing eyes filled with homicidal glee.

"Shit." I was not built for endurance, I had already expended much of my energy trying to intimidate him with my shrapnel field, and I really suck at the waiting game. Unless some sort of divine intervention swooped in to save my ass, I was fairly sure I would not survive the night. I stared at him, his face lit only by the electrical sparks and the ethereal blue light of my aura (as I had already blown out all of the lights on the block.)

And that is how Kurama and Yusuke found us.

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><p>Kurama and Yusuke felt a massive spike in Rei's aura as they turned the corner on a hitherto quiet downtown neighborhood. She was standing on the opposite side of the street wreathed in a pulsing blue glow that set their hair on end like they had taken hold of a Vandergraph machine. Kurama grabbed Yusuke as he attempted to move toward her, almost stepping into the pool of water that was lapping against the curb.<p>

"Rei," he called. Rei ignored him in favor of her opponent.

"Yo, Wonder Woman!" yelled Yusuke. That appeared to have broken her concentration, forcing her to break the current and setting Hiei free. Using his super speed on the already exhausted woman, Hiei sped forward and punched her in the jaw, swiftly sending Rei into blissful unconsciousness.

"Hn." Hiei sneered, moving to closer to exact a little added revenge for the trouble Rei had put him through.

"Hiei," Kurama called out to him. "I would leave her until she wakes."

Hiei replied with a derisive snort and moved to kick her in the ribs. Kurama winced as a final arch of psycho-electricity zapped Hiei, singeing the rest of his clothes and hair.

Hiei rolled his shoulders, turned around and began to walk to Kurama. Sloshing through the water, he turned, smirked, and sent out a lick of flame that burnt the fringe of Rei's hair.

Kurama ran forward and splashed Rei's face to put out the fire, subsequently causing her to sputter awake.

"The hell was that for?" screeched Rei, floundering about in the ever expanding puddle. She made a grab for Kurama neck, ready to send yet another supposedly-lethal-but-apparently-not-so current, before she realized she was no longer under attack. "K-kurama?" she sputtered, head whipping around in an attempt to find her previous attacker. She spotted him standing next to Yusuke, looking singularly disinterested and quite at ease in his present company. She turned a glare to Kurama. "You know that ass-hat?" she squealed. Hiei tried and failed to hide an amused smirk.

Kurama avoided eye contact and proceeded to assist her to her feet. "Yes, ahem, Rei-kun, Hiei Jangashi." He made a swishing hand movement in Hiei's direction. "Hiei, Garner Rachel, or Rei as she prefers to be called."

"That little bastard doesn't get to call me Rei," she hissed, venom dripping from her lips.

Hiei scratched the underside of his chin. "Like I would bother to remember her name, fox."

Rei let out an undignified screech and leaped at him while letting out another burst of psycho-electricity that shocked Kurama as he caught her.

Yusuke, suddenly remembering that he had not made any attention seeking comments within the last few minutes, whistled and said, "Shit, Hiei, threw a party and didn't even invite me." He looked around assessing the damage, taking special note of the pock marked cement, and then sent a smirk Rei's way. "You even got hot crazy chicks. Where'd you stash the booze?"

Rei, like most insane people, was capable of momentary bouts of inhuman (well inhuman by even her high standards) strength. She, with another harpy shriek, kicked Kurama in the gonads, flipped him over her hip and flew at Yusuke, catching him by the throat.

"You will shut up now," she hissed, electricity dancing up and down her hair, wild crazy eyes glittering. "You will shut up now; you will take me to home; you will bring me booze. Or I will castrate you and leave with your wife, do you understand?"

Yusuke was caught between going green with appropriate masculine dread for his future progeny and turning purple from lack of oxygen. He settled for doing both while franticly nodding his head in absolute acquiescence and submission. Yusuke _was_ occasionally capable of being quite intelligent, either that or his demonic survival instincts kicked in.

Kurama picked himself up from the wet asphalt looking more than a little upset.

"Did I really deserve that, Rei?" he asked with a mixture of pain, confusion, and no small ire.

_**Perhaps we should teach her a greater respect for 'little Youko.'**_

_Shut up, and never refer to it as 'little Youko' again._

_Pathetic_, Hiei thought with a snort.

Kurama, now with a very similar insane light in his eyes as Rei, turned to Hiei. For entirely unrelated reasons, Hiei suddenly had the desire to keep his thoughts to himself. Kurama then walked up to Rei, knock her in the back of the neck, flipped her over her shoulder, and began to walk in the direction of his apartment.

Yusuke stood for a moment unsure of himself, "Uh, I think I'll go pick up some vodka for when she wakes up." He set off in the direction of the nearest liquor store and Hiei, attempting nonchalance, leisurely followed after Kurama.

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><p>There you have folks: first update in six months. Hope everyone enjoyed it. Oh and, teehee~ I'm back.<p> 


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